Моего мужа как-будто подменили

It's like my husband was replaced

I began to feel like I was just a servant with him

He says he doesn't want me to leave, but he doesn't do anything to make me want to stay...

I understand that there are two people involved in any relationship, and that everyone always has their own truth, and I always try to look at things from his point of view. I am also well aware that I am far from the limit of perfection, I know all my shortcomings, but I absolutely do not understand what to do in the current situation.

We met four years ago, and it was incredible! I thought I'd found my soul mate. It seemed that I had known him all my life and that two people had never been so close in the entire history of mankind.

We bought a house together, we had two beautiful children. I got along well with his family, and my parents just adored him. Everything was going as well as possible...

But at some point, everything changed. A few months ago, I began to notice that something went downhill in our relationship. Gradually, everything only got worse, and now I'm asking myself with horror - how did I let us get to this?!

These last few months have been the worst of my life. My husband seemed to have been replaced, he suddenly became so distant from me that sometimes I simply did not understand how I could even live so long with such a stranger to me.

It so happened that none of us works from morning to evening (I have my own beauty salon, and my husband is a programmer), because we have a lot of free time. But for some reason, he decided that I should do all the housework. Takes care of the children, feed and wash our cat and dog, keep the house clean, etc.

It didn't seem like a big problem to me, and at first I was even happy to do it all myself. I'm used to achieving everything myself in my life, and I'm not used to asking for help.

So with the fact that he almost does not participate in the upbringing of children in any way, and once again will not pick up the wrapper from the floor, or will not wash the mug after himself, I have already reconciled myself. But lately he has been going too far with the stick.

His constant reproaches drove me to white heat, some inappropriate jokes and jokes, demands to bring him tea or slippers to the computer, because he was too lazy to get up somewhere. He could call me when I was talking to customers or suppliers in my salon and demand that I immediately come home and do something, because he doesn't know how!

I began to feel like just a servant at the palace. And he only just slept and ate, recently he even stopped leaving the house. Recently, I have been met with constant criticism, and it hurts me a lot. It is impossible to please him.

He has become very grumpy and wants to control everything. "Where did you go, who do you communicate with, why do you do this, why this way?" He knows everything better than anyone, and everything should always be as he said. If I do something in my own way, he will criticize and pour dirt on me for being so stupid that I disobeyed him.

Again, it's not the biggest problem, but it's still very unpleasant to hear such a thing from a loved one. I don't get a single gram of support from him, but only one negative and reproaches.

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What a goat you are, Lyosha!

I tried to talk to him, but it seems that he never hears me. For each of my arguments, he has two of his own. In any of our, even the smallest quarrel, it is always my fault. If he was rude to me, it means that I brought him and deserved it.

I don't remember the last time he admitted that he was doing something wrong or apologized for something. But I have to ask for forgiveness almost every day!

I tried to be wiser, to ignore his reproaches, tried not to attach much importance to them. If he was in a bad mood and was rude to me, I convinced myself that he was just having a bad day. If I saw that he was upset about something, I always tried to do something nice for him, to cheer him up.

But lately I've just been giving up, I don't want to do anything for him. Now he won't even tell me what he thinks I did wrong, or what upset him. When I ask what's bothering him, he snaps: "why ask stupid questions, you know perfectly well why I'm upset!".

I am very tired of this attitude, but at the same time I do not want to part with it, and I am constantly looking for ways to fix everything, for the sake of our children.

Now I even began to think that the person who charmed me 4 years ago simply never existed, and that's what he really always was, only carefully disguised. Or maybe he's just so unhappy next to me (it's not clear just for what reason!) that he can't get out of this vicious circle of negativity?

I sincerely want to help him solve his problem, but every day my enthusiasm fades. And if I don't find a way to improve the current situation, very soon I will give up completely, take the children and go to my parents, leaving a call to the court for a divorce case at his computer. Similar publications in the blog section - "Life is a relationship".